Why People with ADHD Are Always Late (It's Not What You Think)
By Dr. Ryan Sultan, Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, Columbia University | Updated February 2026
Chronic lateness in ADHD stems from time blindness (inability to accurately perceive time passage), task initiation problems, underestimating prep time, hyperfocus making you lose track of time, and transition difficulties - not laziness, disrespect, or poor character.
"I'm leaving in 5 minutes!"
You say this genuinely believing it's true.
Then 25 minutes later, you're finally walking out the door.
You're late. Again. And you have no idea where those 20 minutes went.
Your friends are annoyed. Your boss is frustrated. Your partner is hurt because "if you really cared, you'd be on time."
And you do care. You feel terrible about being late. You apologize constantly. You set alarms. You try leaving earlier. But somehow, it keeps happening.
Here's what people don't understand: Your brain literally perceives time differently.
Let me explain why lateness is an ADHD symptom, not a character flaw.
🧠 The Neuroscience of Time Blindness
People with ADHD have time blindness - a deficit in time perception and time management rooted in brain structure and function.
What Research Shows
Basal ganglia differences:
The basal ganglia (brain's internal clock) is smaller in ADHD
This region helps you estimate time passage without checking a clock
In ADHD, this system doesn't function properly
Dopamine dysregulation:
Dopamine is crucial for time perception
Low dopamine = impaired ability to track time internally
Makes seconds feel like minutes, minutes feel like hours (or vice versa)
Working memory deficits:
You forget what time you started getting ready
You lose track of the current time
You can't hold "I need to leave by 3pm" in your mind while doing tasks
Bottom Line: Your brain doesn't accurately sense time passing. You're not choosing to ignore the clock - you literally don't realize how much time has elapsed.
🎯 The 7 Real Reasons People with ADHD Run Late
Let me break down exactly why this happens.
1. Time Blindness (The Big One)
What it is: Inability to accurately estimate or sense time passage
How it shows up:
"That only took 5 minutes!" (It took 20)
"I have plenty of time!" (You have 3 minutes)
"Where did the last hour go?" (You genuinely don't know)
Constantly surprised by what time it is
Can't estimate how long tasks will take
The research: Studies show people with ADHD consistently underestimate time intervals by 30-50%.
2. The "Just One More Thing" Trap
What it is: Inability to stop adding tasks before leaving
How it shows up:
You're ready to leave, but then you see dishes in the sink
"I'll just quickly respond to this email" (20 minutes later...)
"Let me just water this plant real quick"
Each "quick thing" triggers another
Can't prioritize "leave on time" over "complete this task"
Why it happens: Poor impulse control + inability to leave tasks incomplete
3. Task Initiation Problems
What it is: Difficulty starting the process of getting ready
How it shows up:
You know you need to leave in 30 minutes but can't make yourself start getting ready
You wait until panic sets in before moving
"I'll just finish this episode first" (then watch two more)
Procrastinating the transition until it's too late
Why it happens: Executive dysfunction makes it hard to initiate actions, even important ones
4. Transition Difficulty
What it is: Struggling to switch from one activity to another
How it shows up:
Hyperfocused on something and can't pull yourself away
"Just let me finish this thought/level/chapter"
The friction of stopping and starting a new mode feels overwhelming
Taking 15 minutes to mentally transition before physically moving
Why it happens: ADHD brains struggle with set-shifting and transitioning between mental states
5. Underestimating Preparation Time
What it is: Forgetting all the steps involved in leaving
How it shows up:
You think: "I just need to put shoes on and go" (5 minutes)
Reality: Find keys, find phone, find wallet, use bathroom, let dog out, lock door, find car in parking lot (25 minutes)
Forgetting you need to shower, not just get dressed
Not accounting for traffic/parking/walking time
Why it happens: Working memory deficits mean you can't hold all the steps in mind simultaneously
6. Optimistic Time Estimation
What it is: Best-case scenario thinking
How it shows up:
"It's a 20-minute drive" (yes, with no traffic at 3am)
"Getting ready takes 10 minutes" (when everything goes perfectly and you don't get distracted once)
Planning based on ideal conditions, not realistic ones
Not building in buffer time for inevitable delays
Why it happens: Impaired executive function makes it hard to consider multiple scenarios and plan for obstacles
7. Waiting Mode
What it is: Can't do anything productive before an appointment because brain is in "waiting mode"
How it shows up:
Appointment at 2pm, so you do nothing productive from 10am onward
Can't start a task because "I won't have time to finish it"
Just scrolling phone, watching clock anxiously
Then suddenly realize it's time to leave and you're not ready
Why it happens: Anxiety about being late paradoxically makes you late because you can't use the time beforehand effectively
"People think I don't care about being on time. I care SO MUCH that I'm anxious all day before an appointment, which somehow makes me late anyway. Then I feel terrible and apologize profusely, which makes people think I'm making excuses. It's exhausting."
— Sarah, 34, diagnosed with ADHD at 29
💔 The Emotional Toll of Chronic Lateness
Let's talk about how this affects you.
The Shame Spiral
Constant apologizing: You feel like a broken record
Self-hatred: "What's wrong with me? Why can't I do this simple thing?"
Damaged self-esteem: You see yourself as unreliable, even though you're trying hard
Fear of commitment: You stop making plans because you know you'll be late
Social isolation: Friends stop inviting you
Relationship Damage
"You don't respect my time": Partners interpret lateness as disrespect
"You're selfish": Family members think you only care about yourself
"You're lazy": Coworkers assume you're not trying
Trust erosion: People stop believing you when you say "I'll be there"
Professional Consequences
Written up for tardiness
Passed over for promotions
Fired (chronic lateness is a common termination reason)
Reputation as "unreliable" follows you
The Invisible Effort
What people don't see: You've set 5 alarms. You've planned your outfit the night before. You're trying SO HARD to be on time. You're not lazy - you're fighting your neurobiology every single day.
The effort you put in to be "only 10 minutes late" is the same effort others put in to plan a wedding.
✅ Strategies That Actually Work
Let's talk solutions. Not the usual "just leave earlier" advice that doesn't help.
1. External Time Awareness
Why standard clocks don't work: Checking a clock requires you to remember to check it. ADHD brains don't remind you.
Better solutions:
Visual timers: Time Timer (shows red disappearing circle) provides constant visual of time passing
Smart watch vibration alerts: Every 15 minutes, get a reminder that time exists
Alexa/Google Home announcements: "It's 2:00. You need to leave in 30 minutes."
Multiple alarms: Not just "time to leave" but "start getting ready" and "you should be in the car"
2. Realistic Time Estimates (The Triple Rule)
The strategy: Whatever time you think something takes, triple it.
Examples:
Think it's a 10-minute drive? Plan for 30 minutes.
Getting ready takes 15 minutes? Allow 45 minutes.
5-minute task? Block 15 minutes.
Yes, this feels excessive. Do it anyway. You'll arrive on time or early, which feels amazing.
3. Backwards Planning
Instead of: "I need to leave at 3pm"
Do this:
Appointment at 3pm
30-minute drive = leave house by 2:15pm (buffer included)
30 minutes to get ready = start getting ready at 1:45pm
Alarm at 1:30pm: "Start wrapping up current activity"
Alarm at 1:45pm: "GET READY NOW"
Alarm at 2:10pm: "WALK TO CAR NOW"
4. The "Everything by the Door" System
The problem: You're ready to leave but spend 10 minutes finding keys, phone, wallet.
The solution:
Designated spot: Bowl/hook by door where keys/phone/wallet ALWAYS go
Tile trackers: On all items you lose (keys, wallet, remote, etc.)
Packed bag the night before: Work bag, gym bag ready to grab
Shoes by the door: Not in closet, not in bedroom
5. The "No Just One More Thing" Rule
When it's time to leave:
Leave immediately. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
If you see something that "needs" to be done: Take a photo, add to to-do list, deal with it later
Train yourself: "Leaving on time is the priority. Everything else can wait."
Use a mantra: "Done is better than perfect" or "I can do this when I get back"
6. Accountability and Body Doubling
Tell someone what time you're leaving: External accountability helps
Have someone call you: "Are you leaving yet?"
Video call while getting ready: Body doubling makes transitions easier
Carpool: If someone else is picking you up, you're motivated to be ready
7. Medication Timing
If you take ADHD medication:
Take it first thing: Before checking phone, before anything else
Allow it to kick in before leaving: Executive function improves 30-60 minutes after dose
Consider early dose on important days: If you have an 8am meeting, take medication at 6:30am
🗣️ What to Say to People Who Don't Understand
When people accuse you of not caring:
For Partners/Family:
"I know my lateness feels disrespectful. I want you to understand: I have a neurological condition that affects time perception. It's called time blindness - my brain literally cannot track time the way yours does. I'm not choosing to be late. I care deeply about your time, which is why I'm working with my doctor and using strategies to improve. Please be patient with me as I work on this."
For Employers:
"I have ADHD, which affects my time management. I'm implementing systems to improve my punctuality. Would it be possible to have flexible start times, or could I work from home on days when traffic is unpredictable? I'm also happy to stay later to make up any time."
For Friends:
"I know I'm late a lot and it's frustrating. My ADHD makes time perception really difficult. I'm working on it with strategies and medication. In the meantime, would it help if I tell you I'll be there 30 minutes before I actually plan to arrive, so you're not waiting as long?"
💊 Does Medication Help with Lateness?
Yes, but not completely.
What medication improves:
Task initiation (easier to start getting ready)
Impulse control (less "just one more thing")
Working memory (better at remembering all the steps)
Transition ability (easier to stop what you're doing)
Overall executive function
What medication doesn't fix:
Time blindness (still present, just easier to compensate for)
Habits (years of learned patterns don't disappear)
External systems (still need alarms, timers, etc.)
Bottom line: Medication + strategies = best results. Neither alone is sufficient.
Dr. Ryan Sultan is an Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University specializing in ADHD and executive function challenges. He understands the daily struggles of time blindness and helps patients develop practical strategies that work with their ADHD brain.
His NIH-funded research has been cited over 400 times, and he has presented at international conferences across Europe and Latin America.