Ryan S. Sultan, MD

Home | Profile | CV | Publications | Research | Grants | Origins | Teaching | FAQ | Blog | Contact


Tantrums: Emotional Dysregulation in School-Aged Children

A Clinical Guide for Understanding and Treatment

→ Clinical Presentation

Ryan S. Sultan, MD
Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychiatry
Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Consult Service
Weill Cornell Medicine & Columbia University

Originally Presented: May 2019 - Pediatrics Grand Rounds


What is Emotional Dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation in children manifests as episodes of intense negative emotions that are disproportionate to the triggering event. These are not typical childhood meltdowns—they represent a pattern of difficulty managing emotional responses.

Clinical Features:


The Critical Point: Tantrums Are NOT a Diagnosis

⚠ Important Clinical Principle

Aggression and temper tantrums are not diagnoses—they are symptoms. They generally indicate an underlying condition that needs to be identified and treated.

Treating only the tantrum behavior without addressing the underlying cause will lead to continued dysregulation.


Psychiatric Differential Diagnosis of Tantrums

When a child presents with frequent, severe tantrums, consider these underlying conditions:

Condition How It Presents as Tantrums
ADHD Impulsivity, frustration intolerance, difficulty with transitions, low threshold for emotional reactivity
Anxiety Disorders Tantrums triggered by feared situations (separation, social anxiety, specific phobias), avoidance behavior
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Tantrums when limits are set, defiance, argumentativeness, vindictiveness
Depressive Disorder Irritability (especially in children), low frustration tolerance, anhedonia leading to dysregulation
Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD) Chronic irritability, frequent severe outbursts, baseline negative mood
Bipolar Disorder Episodic mood changes, grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, rapid cycling
Autism Spectrum Disorder Difficulty with transitions, sensory overload, communication challenges, rigidity
Conduct Disorder Aggression toward people/animals, destruction of property, deceitfulness, serious rule violations
Parent-Child Mismatch Inconsistent parenting, reinforcement of tantrum behavior, unclear boundaries

Three Clinical Case Vignettes

Case 1: Alex - The Anxious 7-Year-Old

Presentation: Alex, a 7-year-old boy, was sent to the pediatric emergency room after standing on a desk at school screaming and throwing computer keyboards. He was admitted to the child psychiatry unit at Westchester. He had two previous psychiatric admissions and was currently on Risperdal (having been tried on several antipsychotics).

Key History:

  • Chronic worries that his chronically ill mother will die and leave him without care
  • Severe separation anxiety - difficulty separating from parents
  • Continues to sleep in parents' bed
  • Poor sleep, worries about break-ins
  • Never been tried on an SSRI
  • Tantrums occur primarily around separation or social situations
  • Between tantrums: well-related, appropriate child

The Missed Diagnosis: Separation Anxiety Disorder

Treatment: Discontinued Risperdal, started on Prozac (SSRI) → Significant improvement in behavioral issues

Clinical Lesson: This child's aggressive tantrums were manifestations of untreated anxiety. He was being treated with antipsychotics for aggression when the underlying anxiety disorder had never been addressed. Once the anxiety was treated with appropriate first-line medication (SSRI), the "behavioral issues" resolved. See research on off-label antipsychotic prescribing for evidence-based alternatives.

Case 2: Samuel - The Impulsive 6-Year-Old

Presentation: Samuel, a 6-year-old boy, was sent to the pediatric emergency room after an aggressive outburst at school resulting in threatening peers and staff. He had a chronic history of behavioral issues but no previous psychiatric evaluation or care.

Examination Findings:

  • In ED: easily playing with Xbox, engaging with toys
  • Moves around constantly, unable to sit still
  • Difficulty staying on topic during interview
  • Asked for a "brain scan" to help see "all the thoughts and feelings stuck in his head"
  • School reports: difficulty participating in class, reactive toward staff/peers, low frustration tolerance
  • Between tantrums: well-related child

The Missed Diagnosis: ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

Treatment: Admitted to Child Psychiatry unit, started on stimulant → Improved behavioral control

Clinical Lesson: This child's "aggression" was actually impulsivity and frustration intolerance from untreated ADHD. The hyperactivity, distractibility, and difficulty with emotional regulation are core ADHD symptoms. Once the ADHD was treated, the behavioral dysregulation improved dramatically.

Case 3: Danny - The Chronically Irritable 10-Year-Old

Presentation: Danny, a 10-year-old boy, was brought from home after becoming aggressive in the car toward his mother. He had one previous psychiatric hospitalization and was on no medications.

Key History from Mother:

  • "I have never been able to manage him"
  • Physically aggressive toward mother and older brother
  • Daily outbursts - verbally and physically threatening
  • Has damaged many items in the house
  • Demanding and argumentative
  • Child does not respond to any limit-setting attempts
  • "I'm walking on eggshells with him—he is chronically irritable"

The Key Feature: Chronic irritability - not just episodic tantrums

Likely Diagnoses: Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD) and/or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), plus probable Parent-Child Mismatch

Treatment Approach:

  • Consider SSRI for underlying mood dysregulation
  • Parent Management Training (PMT) - Critical component
  • Possible addition of antipsychotic if severe aggression persists
  • Family therapy to address dynamics and establish consistent structure

Clinical Lesson: Unlike Alex and Samuel, Danny does NOT have a "euthymic baseline." He is chronically irritable, which suggests a mood spectrum disorder (DMDD) rather than triggered dysregulation from anxiety or ADHD. Additionally, the parent-child relationship has become severely disrupted, requiring behavioral interventions.


Two Schemas of Emotional Dysregulation

Schema 1: Problems with Emotional Self-Regulation ("Emotional Impulsiveness")

Baseline Mood: Normal, euthymic (happy)
Trigger: High reactivity to frustrating events that activate their underlying illness
Tantrum Pattern: Explosive when triggered, but fine between episodes
Underlying Conditions: ADHD, Anxiety Disorders
Example: Alex (anxiety) and Samuel (ADHD) from above

Schema 2: Chronic Dysregulation

Baseline Mood: Chronically irritable/cranky
Pattern: Irritability present most of the time, worse with triggers
Tantrum Pattern: Explosive outbursts on top of baseline negative mood
Underlying Conditions: Mood spectrum disorders (DMDD, Depression)
Example: Danny (chronic irritability) from above

DSM-5: Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)

DMDD was added to DSM-5 to describe children with severe, chronic irritability and frequent explosive outbursts—distinct from bipolar disorder.

Diagnostic Criteria:

  1. Frequent and prolonged explosive temper outbursts - 3 times per week or more
  2. Irritable/angry mood throughout most of the day - Nearly every day
  3. Unremitting symptoms for past year - Symptom-free for no more than 3 months
  4. Onset before age 10 - Symptoms must start before age 10
  5. Cannot be diagnosed before age 6 or after 18
  6. Symptoms present in at least 2 settings - Home, school, with peers

Key Distinction from Bipolar Disorder:


Understanding the Purpose of Tantrums

Tantrums serve a function—understanding this helps guide treatment:

Trigger Tantrum Purpose/Function Underlying Cause
Social situations
Separation from parent
Phobias
Various worries
→ TANTRUM ←
AVOID DISTRESS Anxiety Disorders
School
Homework
Boring situations
Dinner time
Denied access to toys/screens
AVOID DISTRESS ADHD, ODD
Any demand or limit
Chronic irritability
Low threshold
GET REWARD / AVOID DISTRESS DMDD, ODD

Is There a Parent-Child Mismatch?

Sometimes the tantrum pattern is maintained or worsened by parent-child interaction problems:

Problematic Parent Behaviors:

Result: Child learns that tantrums work—they get what they want or avoid what they don't want.


Treatment: Matching Intervention to Underlying Cause

Underlying Cause Treatment Approach
ADHD 1. Stimulant medication (methylphenidate, amphetamines)
2. Consider SSRI if comorbid anxiety
3. Parent Management Training (PMT)
Anxiety Disorders 1. SSRI (fluoxetine, sertraline)
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
3. Parent coaching on exposure therapy
ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) 1. Parent Management Training (PMT) - First-line
2. Consider SSRI if irritability/mood component
3. Antipsychotic only if severe aggression persists
DMDD (Disruptive Mood Dysregulation) 1. SSRI for mood dysregulation
2. Parent Management Training
3. Consider antipsychotic for severe outbursts
4. CBT for emotion regulation skills
Parent-Child Mismatch 1. Parent Management Training (PMT) - Essential
2. Family therapy
3. Parent education on child development

Parent Management Training (PMT): The Cornerstone of Behavioral Treatment

PMT is an evidence-based intervention that teaches parents effective behavioral management strategies. It's essential for ODD, DMDD, and parent-child mismatch—and helpful for all conditions.

Core Components of PMT:

1. Increase Positive Parent-Child Interactions
2. Increase Consistency of Consequences

Token System (Example Behavioral Intervention)

How It Works:

Example Reward Menu:

Reward Cost (Tokens)
30 minutes TV time5 tokens
30 minutes computer/iPad time5 tokens
Dessert after dinner3 tokens
Stay up 30 minutes late7 tokens
Small new toy20 tokens
Special outing (ice cream, park)25 tokens

Target Behaviors to Earn Tokens:


Clinical Decision Tree: Approach to Tantrums

Step 1: Is the child's baseline mood euthymic (normal/happy) or irritable?

Euthymic Baseline:

  • Look for triggers (separation, social situations, demands, transitions)
  • Consider: ADHD or Anxiety Disorders
  • Treatment: Stimulant (ADHD) or SSRI (Anxiety) + PMT

Chronically Irritable Baseline:

  • Tantrums on top of baseline negative mood
  • Consider: DMDD or Depression
  • Treatment: SSRI + PMT, consider antipsychotic for severe aggression

Step 2: Evaluate parent-child interactions

  • Are parents consistent? Reinforcing tantrums? Using effective strategies?
  • Always include Parent Management Training

Step 3: Treat the underlying condition, not just the symptom

  • Medication targets the neurobiological underpinnings
  • Behavioral interventions teach skills and change patterns
  • Parent training ensures consistency and effective management

Key Takeaways for Clinicians

  1. Tantrums are symptoms, not diagnoses - Always look for the underlying cause
  2. Distinguish between triggered dysregulation and chronic irritability - This guides diagnosis and treatment
  3. Three common mistakes:
    • Treating aggression with antipsychotics when it's actually untreated anxiety (Case 1: Alex)
    • Missing ADHD because you only see the "bad behavior" (Case 2: Samuel)
    • Not addressing parent-child dynamics (Case 3: Danny)
  4. Parent Management Training is essential - Not optional, especially for ODD and DMDD
  5. Match treatment to underlying condition:
    • ADHD → Stimulant + PMT
    • Anxiety → SSRI + CBT + PMT
    • DMDD/ODD → SSRI + PMT, consider antipsychotic if severe
    • Parent-Child Mismatch → PMT is first-line
  6. Don't reach for antipsychotics first - Treat the underlying condition appropriately

Related Resources

Clinical Case Presentations:

ADHD in Children:

Clinical Services:

Research & Publications:


ADHD Resources

ADHD Guide
Diagnosis
Medications
ADHD in Women
Children
Self-Assessment

Clinical Content

RSD
ADHD Paralysis
ADHD Burnout
OCD & ADHD
ADHD vs Autism

Research & Publications

Publications
Research Grants
Articles
Presentations
Blog

About & Contact

Profile
CV
Contact
Practice
ADHD Services NYC


For Professional Consultation
Contact Dr. Sultan


© 2019-2026 Ryan S. Sultan, MD. All rights reserved.
Based on clinical presentation originally given at Pediatrics Grand Rounds, May 2019

Home | Profile | CV | Publications | Research | Teaching | Contact